Chapter 3: The Man who didn't believe in Love

Today is the first day of April.  It has been a year of learning, but more importantly, a time of putting into action the knowledge I believe is important in making my life what I want it to be.  I have been in the process of examining beliefs that I hold, positive and negative, how these beliefs impact my life and changing the ones I want to change.  This chapter tells the story of a man who did not believe in love.

This man thought that love did not exist.  He had done a great deal of observation, research and was very convincing to anyone who wanted to listen.  He compared relationships to that between a drug addict and the supplier of the drug.  The one with the biggest need was like the addict and the one with the smallest, the provider.  The one with the smallest need controls the whole relationship.  The man summed it up by explaining that "love" is nothing but a fear relationship based on control.

Then of course, one day he met a woman.  She did not believe that love existed either.  She related her experience, how she and her husband had lost respect for each other, then there was no more love.  This man and woman were so much alike, they became best friends, they respected each other and never put each other down, there was no control.  The relationship kept growing.

When the man was away he began to think that love did exist, but it was not as he had thought it would be.  He thought he was not responsible for her; he didn't want anything from her; he didn't want to control her; she doesn't need to take care of him;  he didn't need to blame her for anything; he had fun with her; he was happy for her successes, etc.  Perhaps love did exist.  (I think you can see where this is going).

He spoke with her and found out she felt the same.  They became lovers and lived together.  But eventually the man put his happiness in her hands, he made her responsible for his happiness.  Happiness never comes from outside of us.  The author states that if you put your happiness in someone else's hands your relationship will fail.  You have to take responsibility for your own happiness.

I read a book when I first graduated from college by Liv Ulmann called Changing.
She talked about not depending on another person for your own happiness and I remember thinking she was so right.  This is not the way I grew up thinking.  I bought into the whole fairy tale idea and I was disappointed many times.  I had set myself up for failure, but didn't realize it at that time.    


I picked up this book thinking it was going to talk about relationships between a man and a woman, which it does, but then again it always goes back to the relationship you have with yourself.  I believe that I am a whole person by myself, I don't need someone to complete me.  I do believe that a loving relationship with other human beings provide me with my greatest joy here on this Earth.  

Chapters 1 & 2: The Wounded Mind and The Loss of Innocence

This photo is in our bedroom in Nevada.  It reminds me to focus on the positive light, the love present in this universe.  Here it is almost the end of March.  I have had a challenging month at work along with a case of the crud and strep.  It still amazes me how easily I can slip back into the fear-based mode out of habit, but I remind myself what I want to create for my life and continue onward.

The beginning chapters of this book discuss the fact that we live in a fear based society.  I can remember when I was influenced by fear more so than I am now.  I have had an awareness, a knowing that there is another option, living life from a place of love.  It is not easy to get beyond the fear, because it is so ingrained in us as a society.  I believe the first step is to understand where the fear comes from.

The author says the Toltecs believe the human society lives in The Dream, or mitote.  This big Dream includes all the rules of society, its laws, its religions, its different cultures and ways to be.  This dream keeps us from seeing what we really are, which is pure love, we are Life.  Human beings by nature are very sensitive beings in which we perceive things with our emotional body.  When something goes wrong with the physical body we have a warning in the form of pain.  With the emotional body, the warning is fear. As children, we listen to these warnings and then move on.  Children live in the moment.  They are not ashamed of the past or worried about the future.  They are not afraid to love.  By the time we are adults we have become domesticated.   We lose our innocence, we lose our freedom, we lose our happiness, and we lose our tendency to love. This domestication has been going on as long as humans have been on the Earth, but more so with our society in the past few hundred years.  "Damn those Puritans" is a phrase JBR and I like to say to explain those beliefs in society that we are not aligned with.

Can Hell be right here on Earth?  I think so.  I think we can create our own Hell right here by our belief systems, that part of our mind that is always judging.  We not only judge others, but continuously judge ourselves.  This judgment is based on what we believe and based on a sense of justice and injustice.  We find ourselves guilty and need to be punished.  This manifests itself by feeling unworthy.  When we feel unworthy, undeserving, unlovable how can we have healthy relationships with others?  Hell has many different levels.

So if I understand where my fear comes from, what my belief systems are, then I can continue on the journey I have chosen for myself.  I can remove my fear-based beliefs and live my life from a place of love.

2011, New Year, New Name, New Book

Here it is February 2011.  Sometimes the months just seem to fly by.  This has been an exciting year already. BRC and I got married January 2nd.  Jillian is off to France to study at Pont Aven until the middle of May. Will is making a home for himself in Iowa, engaged to be married in September.  I can feel the tides of change shifting to a more stable time.  I have decided to write the blog about the book The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz, published in 1999.  It really resonated with me.  If you are not familiar with this author he also wrote The Four Agreements which was more commercially successful.  Don Miguel Ruiz is a Nagual(shaman) and a master of the Toltec mystery school tradition.  He recently experienced a heart transplant.  This is a description of the book:

The Mastery of Love

In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, Ruiz shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships.

I really like playfulness as a vital part of a loving relationship.  So who are the Toltecs?  The book jacket states the Toltecs have three fundamental masteries that guide us to our true nature, which is happiness, freedom and love.  The first is the Mastery of Awareness.  This makes sense in that we need to have an awareness of what we really are.  The second is the Mastery of Transformation which teach us how to become spiritual warriors, breaking free of the knowledge that enslaves us.  We change the dream of our life by changing our agreements and beliefs.  The third is the Mastery of Love which is a result of the first two masteries.  when we master Love, we align with the spirit of Life that is passing through us.  We are no longer the body, or the mind, or the soul, we are Love.  When we master these three we reclaim our divinity and become one with God which is the goal of the Toltec.

Thousands of years ago the Toltec were known throughout Southern Mexico who were people who formed a society to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones.  Over the millennia they were forced to conceal the ancestral wisdom and maintain its existence in obscurity.  This was necessary to shield the knowledge from those who were not prepared to use it wisely or use it for personal gain or intentionally misuse it.  It was passed down from generation to generation, unveiling at this time.  It is not a religion, it honors the spiritual masters who have taught here on Earth.

The book gives the following description:
    A toltec is an artist of Love, an artist of the Spirit, someone who is creating every moment, every second, the most beautiful art~ The Art of Dreaming.
    Life is nothing but a dream, and if we are artists, then we can create our life with Love, and our dreams become a masterpiece of art.

To be a Master of Love,  let my journey begin...

        

A List of the Universal Laws

Here are all the laws covered in the Book in the order they were presented:

1. Like begets like.
2. As you sow so shall you reap.
3. The spirit of your actions multiplies the results.
4. Like attracts like.
5. opposites repel.
6. As you seek, you attract and are attracted to that which will fulfill your search.
7. As you seek, you repel and are repelled by that which will not fulfill your search.
8. Fore ever effect there is a cause.
9. There is nothing by chance.
10. Nothing happens by chance; there is a purpose to everything that happens.
11. As thought, purpose, aim, and desire are set in motion by minds, their effect is as a condition that is.
12. Know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
13. God is.
14. As you honor, respect, and love your own unique individuality, so you honor, respect, and love the individuality of others.
15. Your true needs, wants, desires, hopes, dreams, wishes, and their fulfillment are as important as those of any other soul in existence.
16. You must first "save" self if you would "save" another.
17. As you put the God within first in your life, so you manifest the God you are. 
18. As you become master of your lower self, so all things, conditions, and elements become subject unto you.
19. Spirit is the life, mind is the builder, physical is the result.
20. Life is the experience of your choices.
21. If you will be my people, I will be your God.
22. Seek first the spirit within and you will find.
23. Ask the spirit, with faith, and you will receive.
24. Knock, with faith in spirit, and the door will be opened.
25. All exchanges balance.
26. As you believe, so it becomes for you.
27. Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.
28. Love Transforms.
29. True giving manifests love.
30. As you give so it is measured to you again.
31. As you give you gain in understanding.

Chapter 21: Be the Law

Today is the first of January 2011.  Even after the first decade of 2000 I have a hard time believing it is 2011.  Time seems to be flying by, this past year passing in the blink of an eye.  This is the last chapter of the Your Life:  Why it is the way it is and what you can do about it.  What a journey this has been for me.  

I thought by the end of this book I would have it all figured out, but of course, it is an ongoing process~a journey of growth and will continue as long as I continue to be.

This last chapter discusses how to put it all together.  My work with studying these laws has just begun.  The book notes this is the first of three steps:

1.  Learn the Law

2.  Live the Law

3.  Be the Law

By reading this book I now have a consciousness of the laws.  I am responsible for my life and my own destiny.  I have already had experience with living the laws.   When the opportunity to use the law presents itself, which it will, apply the law in the highest way you can conceive.  Live it day by day, not just acknowledge that the laws exist.  The book discussed in earlier chapters about being in the flow with the purpose of the Universe~this is where inner guidance is required.  You can bring great order to chaos.  

"...in compliance with laws all things become possible".  This is a state of true freedom where there are no limits.  "The key to true freedom is living the Universal Laws in the highest way.  When you apply the laws in your daily life, the Creative Force works with you."

As you apply the law you become the law.  This chapter explains that "to be the law" is far more than just complying with a law.  It involves making yourself one with the purpose of the Universe, which is a selfless purpose, one coming from love.  This will release your fears and limitations.  I have the potential to live my highest and best, taking the high road for a life fulfilled, one of love, peace and joy.  I believe it is worth it.  

Here is an affirmation by Angela Peregoff that I enjoyed:

"On this day, I will receive all that brings me joy and light and love.  I will not allow this day to destroy my dreams, my hopes, my wants or my desires.  I embrace this day with the fullness of my divinity and not other way shall it be.  For I no longer choose to learn the hard way.  I no longer choose to run into the brick wall in my manifestation, in my creation and in my beliefs.  I choose with the dignity of a Being of Light and with a knowing that whatever I set my thoughts upon in this day, they shall be rendered free and they shall be rendered manifested.  And so it shall be. 

No longer will I harness doubt and allow it to pull me forward into the ruts and the crevices of human living.  but I will fly with winged freedom above what keeps me so limited.  For it is only I and not another that clips the wings of my soul and of my dreams".

I choose the dignity of a Being of Light.  Onward and Upward.